This is Not A Love Story

Girl meets boy.

Girl falls completely in love with boy.

And then, suddenly, everything falls apart.

It’s strange, sometimes, how life likes to complicate things entirely. You meet a guy. You instantly like the guy. You are attracted to him. Although you would never freely admit it to anyone - not even to yourself. You look at him from the corner of your eye, and you think to yourself ‘Hmm, he could be handsome’. But you would never tell him. That would be too embarrassing.

After some time, when you finally get to know him, your feelings start to change, and you know that it’s not just attraction anymore. You are too shy to talk to him about it. You are afraid that he might not feel the same way, so you choose to keep quiet, instead.

And then the most humiliating thing happens, when suddenly, everyone knows that you like him - and you know that he could possibly have some knowledge about it as well - and all of them tease the both of you about getting together.

You want it to happen, of course. Deep inside, you know you do. But it can’t. And it displeases you so, especially because you find out that he likes someone else. You hear about it. You hear about the dates and the bracelet and all that stuff, and you nod and smile, like it’s something that wouldn’t bother you. But it does, and secretly, you want to be that girl whom he likes.

After a while, you move on with your life, and you forget about him, but then he comes back, and this time without the girl. And then abruptly, hope sparks inside of you. You start sharing things about your life and experiences with each other. Combine that with a little bit of flirting and pick up lines here and there and you know that you’re in trouble. Add some other people to the mix, and you’re really in trouble.

What’s really funny though, is you start developing this relationship. More than friends, less than lovers. You agree with the set up, even though what you want is more than just that. You agree because you cannot afford to lose him. So you go out on ‘dates’, you talk often, you even give each other Christmas gifts. You start to think that things are flowing smoothly.

 

That is until the girl comes back. And everything is like the way it was before. And now you’re confused because you do not know the truth. You have a million questions in your head:

Does he still like her?

Where does our relationship stand?

Does he even really like me?

You want to ask him. You want so desperately to search for answers, but you still keep quiet because you do not want to get hurt. And then you realize what the truth is. The truth is that he is not yours. It stings so bad that you want to cry, but you don’t because it’s not sensible.

You start ignoring him, thinking that by that way, he can go back to his girl and you can get on with your life. You try to resist him, but you can’t. Because, admittedly or not, you love him. You wouldn’t know if he shares that feeling with you. You would doubt it, naturally. And if someone were to ask him about who you are in his world, he wouldn’t speak a word. The sad thing about it, though, is that if you were asked the same question about him, you would know exactly what to say.